“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Today is your 4th birthday. You are in bed now after a long and fun day. You opened gifts, ate cake, played with water balloons and got to sleep on the top bunk for the very first time. It’s hard to believe that I now have 4 year old boys; I was just getting used to telling people that I had 2 three year olds. When you get older, people are going to tell you that time goes by really fast and you aren’t going to believe them. But trust me, when it comes to the things you love time rushes by, even years seem to go by in an instant. Anyway, I suppose I should explain to you why I am writing this as well as why I am choosing to make it an open letter that I share with others. I am writing this for both of you as well as myself. Raising the two of you, along with your little brother, is a great joy for me. However, it is a challenging task and a responsibility that I take very seriously. It isn’t just my job to make sure you have a bed to sleep in and food to eat. It is my job to teach you right from wrong and about God, to lead you to Jesus and provide you with all the tools you need to be Godly men. Hopefully, by the time that you read this you will be on that path and have a deep love for God.
The task is daunting and it comes with a great many challenges, distractions and setbacks, but the reward is greater. It is greater than anything you can imagine and worth every hardship you will face. I am writing this to you now because I want you to be able to understand that when I raised you it wasn’t at random. I didn’t do the things I did on a whim. I had a plan, I had a goal and most importantly I was driven by an overwhelming love. Love for God and, of course, love for you. I want you to understand that it wasn’t easy for me but that I knew it was necessary to persevere. I want you to know all of those things so that as you continue your journey to be men of God and eventually fathers attempting to raise Godly children, you will be able to look at this and see my plan and my struggles. I pray it will help you press on with determination to accomplish your goal. The reason I have chosen to share this with others is because I have hope that it will help others just as much as it helps you. I want you to grow up in a God filled world and therefore I have to accept my part in spreading God’s word. I have to help the people around me by encouraging them to continue on God’s path or possibly to show them what that path is and what it means to follow it.
Before you were born, I was terrified of having kids. I was scared to death that I wouldn’t be a good father; petrified that somehow I wouldn’t have the connection with you that other parents seem to inherently have with their kids. I am a man that is typically driven by logic and reason, not emotion. As a matter of fact, a lot of people joke that I don’t have emotions, that I react to everything with the same exact level of excitement. However, the moment that you were born and I saw you two for the first time those feelings melted away. Instantly, you held a special place in my heart and I knew that I would do anything for you. I was aware that everything about my life was forever changed but I knew I didn’t want to go back to the way it was. Since then, I have watched the two of you grow from babies that I could hold in one arm to boys with personalities all of their own. I have been amazed by the things that you have learned and I am even more excited to see what you will learn in the future.
The two of you are already, at such an early age, displaying so many traits that I can see God using in great and wonderful ways: leadership, loving, sensitive to others’ pain and needs, intelligent, and caring. I want to nurture those traits as well as encourage others. I want to teach you about God and teach you how to live for God. And I want to display to you through my example what it looks like to be a Godly father, husband and man.
So, I will start with the plans I have for myself for the next year. I will make it a point to make sure that both of you see me worshiping God. I will make sure that the two of you see me getting into God’s word. I am going to give you more of my time and focus. I will put away my phone and give you my attention. I want the two of you to remember that you had a father that loved spending time with you and was thrilled to talk to you. I want you to look back on your lives and see your dad with you and not a glowing screen. I know that I can’t possibly teach you all the things that I need to teach you if I am staring at my phone so it is time to put that distraction away and focus on the gifts God has given me. I want to make sure that I spend more time in the moment making memories instead of time in my head worrying about the things that I need to be giving to God anyway. Psalms 55:22 says “Cast you burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” I need to be a better example of that; I need the two of you to see that in me so that you will know how to do it when life gets hard.
I also have a couple things that I want to focus on teaching the two of you in the coming year. I want to teach you the importance of being honest. I want to show you what being honest means and what it will mean to the people around you when they know they can trust what you say. The bible speaks over and over about honesty. And so this year I will teach you to be honest and truthful. I will help you to recognize that even though the truth may not always be the most convenient road, it is always the one moving in the right direction. I will teach you that being honest means telling the truth even when you know you could get away with a lie. I want the people around you to know that they can trust the words that you speak. If there is ever a question about what you have done, I want your honest character to eliminate all doubt when you say “I didn’t do that.” We will all leave a legacy and one of the things that I want to be included in your legacy is that you were a man that walked in the truth and spoke the truth.
This year will also be the year that I will teach you to pray on your own. I will teach you how to say prayers thanking God for the things that you are grateful for. Currently, we sing a prayer over dinner. We started singing prayer because I was able to teach the two of you the song and I wanted you two to be involved in prayer. I want to get back to also speaking a prayer to God before we eat. I intend to occasionally allow the two of you to participate and lead these prayers as well. I want the two of you to learn how to speak to God. I want you to understand that its important that we speak to God. That we should thank Him for the many blessings that He has provided for us, as well as ask Him for the things that we need in our lives. I am so proud to hear the two of you when you talk about things that God has made. I smile when you tell me that God is the one that makes it rain and makes the grass grow. You recognize that God is the creator of everything around us; now, I want you to learn how to thank God for his creation. You have been prayed over every day of your lives and you will continue to be prayed over every day, but prayer is not something that Mom and I have the exclusive rights to. Therefore, it is time for me to teach you how to speak to your Heavenly Father so you can begin to build your own relationship.
Sons, there is no possible way that I could even begin to describe to you how much I love you. It is a feeling that is so strong and so deeply embedded in me that words can’t even begin to do it justice. You won’t understand this type of love until you have children of your own, but once you do, I want you to stop and think for a moment; God loves me even more than this. It is a powerful thought that still causes me to stop dead in my tracks. I can’t imagine a love any stronger than the love that I have for you, your mother and your brothers, but God’s love for us is perfect and beyond our understanding. I pray that over these last 4 years I have done well to lay a foundation to which I can continue to build. I pray that God will continue to work in my life and to teach me how I can be a better father to you. I pray God will give me courage, wisdom, patience and endurance. I need courage to teach you to follow the path that the world seems determined to destroy, wisdom to seek out the truth in a world that is often blind to it, patience to stay calm in stressful situations so that I show you the Godly way to handle it not the worldly way and endurance to stay strong and determined on my journey through the hardships and fatigue.
Stay strong. Stay Focused. Pray. Read the Bible. Follow God.
Love You,
Dad
“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like Eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
(Isaiah 40:31)
Nick, Your letter of love and hope to Cash and Raylan is beautiful! They are truly blessed to have you for their Dad!
Thank you very much.