Why do I even bother? I should just give up! What’s the point of trying? I’ll never do anything right! I always screw things up! Maybe I’m just not supposed to succeed. I guess I’m just not that good. I don’t even matter. Why try? I guess they were right; I just can’t do it. Do any of these sound familiar? I know for a fact I have thought or said each of these on multiple occasions. Quite simply, they are the clichés of a loser.
When I was in middle school I had a poster on my wall. It was a Michael Jordan poster that said: “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” I loved that poster. It helped me think my failures were just stepping stones to success. It was O.K. to fail because it would teach me how to succeed. However, as I got older, I changed the end of that motivational poster to: “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I FAIL!
Somewhere along the way I picked up a loser mentality and those loser clichés became my native tongue. When I looked at my life, past and present, I could only see a trend of failure, and I only saw a forecast of failure in my future. I gave up on dreaming big; in fact my ultimate goal became owning a big screen T.V. This isn’t to say that I acted like this all the time. In fact, I became really good at faking my confidence. I think a lot of people that knew me would have probably described me as a “know-it-all” or cocky but in reality I only saw myself as a monumental disappointment. It’s funny I’m writing all this in past tense as if it is something from a long time ago, but the truth is I’m holding this pen and writing this, because I’m overwhelmed with these feelings right now.
Normally I write about situations I have moved past, knowledge I have gained, and insights I’ve found. However, tonight that’s not the case. Tonight, I’m writing from a place of vulnerability, a point of weakness and feeling defeated. I’m not writing this for pity or for people to give me reassurance, instead I am writing this to pose a question: Why do we wallow in our failures?
I hate failing! I hate feeling like this! I genuinely want to succeed. I truly want to find something that I’m great at. It is also true that I have had successes in my life, maybe not to the level that I had originally dreamed but I have certainly had moments of victory. So why do I hang on to my failures more than I chase after my successes? Why do I constantly tell myself, “they can do it, but I can’t?” Why am I jealous of success instead of motivated by it?
I could attempt to do a deep psycho-analysis on myself to find some deep seeded root cause, but I don’t think that is necessary. I think the answer is far simpler. I’ve fallen for the lies of the world. I’ve watched the Facebook highlights reels of success and forgot to look for the deleted scenes and blooper reels of mistakes, missteps, failures, and detours. I let myself believe people succeed because they weren’t stopped short by failure. Instead of the reality that people succeed because they refused to stop short at failure.
We aren’t meant to be failures. We will fail, but we are meant to persevere. We aren’t meant to feel broken, but to be made whole by Jesus Christ. We aren’t meant to tremble in our weakness but to stand proud in the strength of God. “For the spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7) We are meant to be more. So why don’t we let ourselves become that?
Maybe nobody that reads this article struggles with this problem. Maybe all I’ve done is give people a glimpse into my weaknesses. However, maybe somebody reads this and thinks, “me too!” If that’s you then I vote we change. Let’s change our mentality and drop our native tongue. It’s time to learn the voice of success. Let’s stop being jealous of the highlight reel and be motivated by what came from all the deleted scenes and bloopers. Let’s stop letting the world lie to us and instead listen to the Spirit of God. It won’t be quick and it won’t be easy. Already, I hear the voices in my head telling me I can’t change. They are telling me that I’ll just end up back here in a week or two. Maybe I will. After all, I’ve failed before. But that is why I know I can take it. It won’t destroy me and I won’t let it stop me like it has so many times before. Instead it will just be a little blooper that will lead to my next highlight. I can do this…We can do this. We can be something MORE!
