Author’s Note: Before you start reading this, I want to give you a little background story. As I mention in this my wife and I had just recently been blessed with two sons. However, I had been out of work for about 2 months leading up to and after their birth and my wife hadn’t been paid for the last two weeks of her maternity leave. So, financially, we were not in the best position. I finally started a new job a week after wife went back to work. It wasn’t a great job but it was a paycheck until I could find something better. We felt a sigh of relief thinking the worst was behind us. However, that Tuesday my wife left for work and, before she even made it out of the neighborhood, her car died. After taking it to two shops, we were told that the engine was dead and that we would need to replace it. Well, the engine was more than the car was worth. Not that it would have mattered because we didn’t have the money to replace the engine or the car. Now we were faced with another problem. I had just started a new job and couldn’t take any time off. My wife had used all her time off for the maternity leave and we were officially down one car. We had to be on opposite ends of town within 30 minutes of each other so carpooling was not an option. We were stressed beyond belief. We had just had two babies and we had no idea how we could work to support them. A church family was generous in letting us borrow a car “until we could get a replacement.” This was a huge help but the reality was that we were at least a year from being able to even consider getting another car and couldn’t see ourselves borrowing a car for that amount of time. About a week after the car died my wife and I were standing outside talking about our situation and what we could do to better it. We really didn’t have any options so the conversation became more and more stressful and eventually my wife who was very upset decided she was going inside to go to bed. I started talking to myself and somehow the words that I spoke seemed to calm me down and help me think clearly. This was the talk I had to myself.
written: 9/23/12
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declared the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Most Christians know this verse either by reading it or by hearing it from somebody. The question is do we really believe it. How many times do we find ourselves in tough situations and all of a sudden we are asking God, “Why aren’t You helping us? Why me? Or where are You?” I know I have been in these situations; at times it shook me so deeply that I began to ask myself if I truly believed in God. All I saw was myself getting knocked down again and again. There were times when great things would happen and I would rejoice that God had come to my aid. Things were going to get better. However, it ended up being a temporary relief and my situation kept getting worse. Every time something else happened, I became more frustrated and discouraged. After a few days, I would settle down and begin praying. Some relief would come, I would praise, another set-back, and the frustration would return.
Well, recently God blessed my wife and me with two amazingly beautiful sons, Cash and Raylan. And through this miracle God asked me a question. Let’s say in 20-25 years, my wife and I are doing well financially, but our sons, still getting started in the world, are having problems and struggling. Myky and I, loving our sons and wanting to help them out, decide that for their birthday, we will take them to the dealership and buy them each a new car. However, we are faced with a dilemma. We try to call them, leave messages, e-mail, and even text and never get a response. Maybe they are busy; maybe they are mad at us; maybe they blame us for their problems; or maybe they don’t believe that we can help them. Doesn’t matter a whole lot what the reason, the end result is the same; we cannot help them. Well, after a couple weeks and several failed attempts we finally get an answer. We are able to talk to our sons. They apologize, telling is how busy they have been and how everything has been going wrong for them. We offer words of comfort and encouragement and invite them to the house Saturday afternoon for their birthday. As we get off the phone Myky and I are ecstatic, excitedly going over hypothetical scenarios, imagining how they will react. But Friday comes and we try to call and confirm, but again receive no answer. Saturday comes, 1:00pm they aren’t here, 4:00pm no word yet, 7:00 pm and they still haven’t shown. Finally it’s 8:00 pm and they are here. Of course, we are still happy to see them, but unfortunately the dealerships are closed; we can’t go forward with our plan. Granted, we could tell them that we are going to buy them cars, but we want them to be surprised. We want to see their reactions when we suddenly pull in the dealership, ask them what kind of car they like, and tell them to pick out the color. So we decide to wait and instead just talk to them give them each a little money and invite them over next weekend for lunch. The money we gave them makes them both feel better, offering a little breathing room, and during the next couple of days we talk to Cash and Raylan quite a bit. However, on Wednesday something happens and the calls stop. They still come by Saturday but lunch turns into dinner and again the dealerships are closed. A couple days go by and suddenly they aren’t talking to us again. We want so badly to help them out and to get cars for them, but now we have to start at the beginning and draw them in, reopen that communication. If our sons believed or knew we were going to help them out in such a huge way, there is no doubt that they would be calling us daily and showing up as early as we would let them on Saturday. The problem is they believe either we won’t or can’t help them.
You see, God, has told us that He will always love us and that He has great plans for us. It seems so often that when bad things happen we forget about God. Instead, we decide to do our own thing and wallow in our self-pity. I’m sure most everybody, regardless of age, can remember a time when something happened and without doubt or fear of rejection he ran to his parents. Being good parents, our parents helped us out to the best of their ability. We have to remember God is our Father and He isn’t a good parent; He is the perfect parent, with endless abilities and infinite resources. Don’t wallow in self-pity for two days and then pray. Don’t wait until the last minute to have faith. Have faith through the good and bad times. So many times, we stress about a bill we can’t pay. Two days after the due date we pray for help and then get mad at God because He didn’t come through in time for us. That’s so ridiculous, it is laughable, but unfortunately it’s true.
So often, we find ourselves in a room with four walls and no doors, no windows, not even a vent to crawl through. Just four blank walls, with no way out. We begin to panic wondering, “What are we going to do? How are we going to get out?” Before long we crawl into a corner and start to cry. But the whole time God is sitting there waiting for us to come to Him and ask for help. He can tell us that we don’t need a door; we don’t need a window, because, with Him, we can walk through walls. He tells us this “wall” that we believed has us trapped, was nothing more than a curtain, an illusion from Satan created to blind us from the truth. The truth being that, through God, we are free and nothing can hold us back. Satan is great at the power of illusion; tricking us and making us see things that aren’t there. But, the wonderful thing about God is no matter how great the illusion, He can always pull back the curtain and show us the truth. Because Satan can only fake through cheap parlor tricks, but God has the power to actually do. Never forget that when Moses went to Pharaoh to free God’s people, Pharaoh’s magicians were only able to duplicate the first plagues, essentially making matters worse for the Egyptians. They didn’t have the ability to overpower God’s work and reverse the plagues.
Please don’t misunderstand me; I’m not saying it is wrong to have questions. “Why,” can be an important question. It can further understanding and even prevent us from following false prophets. I’m also not alleging that having doubts makes you a bad Christian. We are human and doubts will happen. What I am saying is don’t hide behind your questions and doubts. Be honest and up front with yourself and especially God. I promise you He can take it and He isn’t afraid of your questions or doubts or the answers that they will bring if explored. God has nothing to hide. In fact, God can use your doubts and questions to strengthen your faith when He is given the chance to answer them. But so often we let those questions and doubts fester in our mind and ruin and break our faith. The choice is yours. But I am done with frustration and doubt. I never liked fair-weather friends and as of now I refuse to have fair-weather faith.
Author’s Note: It wasn’t until the next day that I realized that this talk I was having to myself was actually God speaking to me. At the suggestion of my Mom I wrote out the conversation and started praying for God’s help. Two days later my wife and I went to help out at our church’s youth. While we were there, a man from our church told us that He and his wife had decided to give us their Expedition. This same man had come down the road right after my wife’s car had broken down and helped us move the car and his wife had followed mine to the car shop when she took it to get looked at. Unknown to us they had an extra vehicle that they had been looking to bless somebody with. They had come together one night both telling the other they knew who the Expedition needed to go to. Only to find out that they both had the same family in mind. Us! They gave us a car! God had been at work the whole time on our behalf. He not only made sure that we had a car but he gave us the car that fixed the space problem that having twins seems to bring about. I drive a Focus and my wife’s old car was a Chevy Cavalier. Let me tell you compact cars are not ideal for twins. When God spoke to me, not only did he calm me down in that moment, but he revealed to me exactly what he was going to do for my wife and me. All we had to was ask.
I remember this very well. It’s so cool that God gives us the reassurance we need even though He doesn’t have to.